this is a great article to read (link below) if you have ever felt like you are not quite good enough. some of the people i know who are very good triathletes confess to the imposter syndrome and that really surprises me. i felt it from the very beginning. at first it was just a case of being unfit and a total newbie but i thought as time went on and i improved it would change. when that didnt happen i decided that i just has to go longer and faster and then i would belong. well that didnt work so then i just had to race more events, complete more ironmans and just be in the sport longer. i got involved at the administration level of the sport. i have never been involved with clubs or squads as the travel time and training sessions made it difficult. so the only other missing equation is that i never got fast enough to be at the podium level or to qualify for worlds. maybe that was it. i know people say that triathlon is about participation and all levels of ability are welcome. however i dont believe that but maybe that is the imposter syndrome at work.
this gets even worse for the aging triathlete. so on top of not feeling good enough you are now automatically judged and put in a box because you are older. for me i went backwards from time off from the sport and to come back to a decent level of consistency and pace was harder than any of the training i had done previously and it is still a work in progress. recovery takes longer and the amount of volume has to be managed. sometimes it is really fucking hard but you have to remind yourself that some of the people you are training with are 20 or 30 years younger and you are not an imposter or a failure.
i have less summers in front of me than behind me and my choice of races in the next few years has to be well thought out. i hope that by the time i leave the sport i feel a little less like an imposter and more a part of it.
