all the best things in life come at a price and whether you are prepared to pay that price is the BIG question. over the last few weeks i have come to the understanding that i can be weak. i dont really like to suffer or perhaps i am not prepared to suffer to really get what i want. maybe i dont want it that much. i like to think that i am a little bit tough but deep down i know that might not be true.
your fitness level allows you to train to a certain amount and volume. that base fitness along with your age and your body's ability to recover also play a big part. this has a huge impact on the level of suffering you can endure. coach ironman told me i needed to learn how to suffer in training and that the experience would benefit me on the day. some of my long rides have been tough WINDY rides and this year i have spent time in the hills doing repeats. it is always the first and the last climb that hurts the most. but it is the running where you can really suffer. all of my long runs i have done on the road and only when i have felt my foot or calf play up that i have switched to doing some shorter runs on the treadmill. this week i ran further than i have ever gone for a long training run. did i suffer ? you bet. did i learn anything ? you bet.
then on sunday i gained a whole new perspective on suffering. it was the end of my biggest week and this session was my longest ride with a 5k brick run afterwards. i knew what was coming because the week before i had ridden in 30 km/h winds but without the scorching heat. i headed out at 5 am and the first two hours were reasonable. i ride around the swan valley and hills which is well known for being exposed to some terrible howling easterlies. i have one section of road that on a bad day is just not ride able. this was one of those days. after three hours i arrived back home to fill up my drink bottles. i can carry four and they were all empty. i added ice to the new bottles and this was nice for the first hour. i was worried as i would be out for longer this time and it was getting hot. i would need to be careful. the last 90 minutes was the worst experience i have had on a bike. my gels were pretty disgusting. it was 39 degrees out and the wind was gusting and around 30-35 km/h. the heat actually makes you sleepy as well and you need to stay focused. a car pulled out in front of me and that woke me up. i called them plenty of names and that felt good. i completely understand why people quit and why some do not finish an ironman. i thought a great deal about why i was still pedaling away. it was crazy really. i had no answer other than i needed to do it and the thought that this would benefit me on the day kept me going. as i got closer to home i thought that there was no way that i could possibly run while at the same time knowing that i would. being so hot i decided to step under the cold shower for a few minutes before i threw my runners on and headed out the door. fuck it was hot. by this time it was well after 1 pm. the hottest part of the day. my legs felt okay so that was a bonus. i ran just over 30 minutes and then straight back under the shower. i was fucked and my worst day and longest ride ever was over.
i rested up on the sofa. i was thirsty but not that hungry. i think i had a nap. i got a few things organised and then had dinner. i did not sleep well. my legs were aching and i probably had a bit too much sugar still trying to work its way out of my system. in the morning i had to get up and drive to bunbury and the reason for this was keeping me awake. i really wish i could have slept like the dead. family is meant to be the people you can trust and rely upon the most. sadly my family is completely fractured and there are those who do things for themselves and without another persons best interests at heart. money is the root of all evil and it is frightening how it so easily causes people to lose all sense of what is right and what is wrong and the lengths to which they will go to achieve their misguided goals. in the past i did not understand people who had not spoken to their brother or sister in years and quite often had no idea even where they were. that is no longer the case. now i know why.