i have hit rock bottom. last week i made comment that while i had more energy and motivation my legs felt fatigued and i had some new aches and pains. well after going back to the doctor and mentioning this she decided that i have picked up a virus. just to make things a little bit harder i figure. at present it comes and goes and while i felt better over the weekend i had trouble sleeping and monday was just horrible. i figured it was compounded because of the lack of sleep. i had a pretty good ride on sunday and even ran later in the day. i may have pushed things to the limit. my swimming had been really hard. just no energy and a real lack of oxygen - worse than when i had no iron. but then i had a good swim on saturday and felt like i was back on track. i slept well monday night and had a good run yesterday. after dinner i was feeling so good i decided to make a jim beam and coke. just one and not that strong. today i feel like i was at a pearl jam concert and i consumed the whole bottle. my headache will not go away. so there you go - i now have to give up all forms of alchol. i missed my ride this morning and the conditions were perfect. this makes me so unhappy. frustrated.
to top it off my house is just a mess, the garden a lost cause and i get so stressed and overwhelmed. my molly dog has a funny thing on her eyelid that will not go away. more stress. my mum is not very well and the information coming from my dad and even her is conflicting and at times incomplete. more stress and worry. my job is just terrible and i dont know how i manage to be there everyday. it is boring beyond belief and uninspiring.
i keep telling myself that alot of people have much bigger problems than me and that i really should think myself lucky and that this too shall pass. BUT just for once i would like to catch a break, a little bit of luck or that someone somewhere, for no reason, maybe, does something nice and i get to smile.