Tuesday, February 21, 2012

imwa week 42 - give me a friggin break

i have hit rock bottom.  last week i made comment that while i had more energy and motivation my legs felt fatigued and i had some new aches and pains.  well after going back to the doctor and mentioning this she decided that i have picked up a virus.  just to make things a little bit harder i figure.  at present it comes and goes and while i felt better over the weekend i had trouble sleeping and monday was just horrible.  i figured it was compounded because of the lack of sleep.  i had a pretty good ride on sunday and even ran later in the day.  i may have pushed things to the limit.  my swimming had been really hard.  just no energy and a real lack of oxygen - worse than when i had no iron.  but then i had a good swim on saturday and felt like i was back on track.  i slept well monday night and had a good run yesterday.  after dinner i was feeling so good i decided to make a jim beam and coke.  just one and not that strong.  today i feel like i was at a pearl jam concert and i consumed the whole bottle.  my headache will not go away.  so there you go - i now have to give up all forms of alchol.  i missed my ride this morning and the conditions were perfect.  this makes me so unhappy.  frustrated. 

to top it off my house is just a mess, the garden a lost cause and i get so stressed and overwhelmed.  my molly dog has a funny thing on her eyelid that will not go away.  more stress.  my mum is not very well and the information coming from my dad and even her is conflicting and at times incomplete.  more stress and worry.  my job is just terrible and  i dont know how i manage to be there everyday.  it is boring beyond belief and uninspiring. 

i keep telling myself that alot of people have much bigger problems than me and that i really should think myself lucky and that this too shall pass.  BUT just for once i would like to catch a break, a little bit of luck or that someone somewhere, for no reason, maybe, does something nice and i get to smile.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

DUDE ! I was just about to e-mail you see how you were. It seems that when it rains it pours. :( Take one issue at a time coz it will be overwhelming if you do not. Do not worry about Mum....I have been getting proper info from Helen and Mum has a new GP now-Female and will be having a stress test early next mth and an overall appt with the new GP. Also I will be there before you know it and we can get in place a system where we all know what is going on there. Helen has said she will be much more involved...FINALLY and with some calls to Dr's she knows she is really been a huge help so cross Mum off your worry list.

House/Garden...it will all be there when you are able. I DO understand tho how it can stress you out.

Your job....just hang in there and know that when you start feeling better you can look for a new better job...you are due in this area.

I think coz you have not been drinking that much that one drink just freaked your body out. Headaches suck major suckage.

I know it sucks when your mind wants to do things but your body wont co-operate but it WILL get better. I inagine that every day you will start to feel beter just try to let your body heal. You had zero iron for so long and they did say a few weeks right?

Anyway thinking about you and sending positive vibes your way.

As for Molly dog...it's probably nothing serious but can u take her to the vet so you can cross that off the worry list?

I pretty much skipped the yard last summer and then winter cam and it did not matter!! sometimes you just got say WTF it just does not matter that much.

hang in there!

jenez_world said...

thanks dude ! you are SO right. WTF !!!!!