Wednesday, December 15, 2010

shut up and swim

as you all know i have recently taken to swimming in a different pool - a 50m outdoor pool where i have to share a lane with the general public.  as far as pools go it is a nice pool.  i have a thing about trying out different pools.  this christmas break i am going to do a double swim.  in the morning i will go to one pool and swim 4k and in the afternoon i will go to another pool and swim 4k.  obviously i will eat humongous amounts of food in between the sessions along with a nap.  i am very interested to know what this is going to feel like.  it is a swim smooth suggestion.  but back on topic.

so my most favourite pool i have swam in is the north sydney pool.  it is located just under the sydney harbour bridge and next to luna park.  it  has an amazing history.  i was in sydney for work and staying within a 20 minute walk.  after busting out of the conference i raced over there at dusk and swam in 16 degree weather.  it was glorious.  here is a picture i stole off the internet earlier. 

i used to be one of the fucking idiots that turn up at the pool and think they can swim.  however my only annoying habit was sitting at the end of the lane too long. crazy to think that my whole swim session was 1000m and i do that now as a warm-up.  transgressing AGAIN.  these are the things that have pissed me off in the last two weeks -

1. people in the wrong lane.  the sign says to 'pick your lane based on your ability'.  it should say 'pick your lane based on your ability then drop down one level'. or maybe 'picking your lane is based on ability - NOT based on how many people are swimming in the lanes'.  i pick medium and then spend the whole session passing people.  if i go in the fast lane then i will stress that i am slowing down the fast people.  in reality the fast people are all medium and there are no fast people swimming with the general public. this is my biggest bitch.
2. i have seen things people should not have to see - underwater or above.  some people have bellys that look like jelly and move like jelly.  breaststroke is just not up for discussion.
3. it is a golden rule that if you reach the end of the lane and the person behind you reaches it at the same time and they are actually faster than you - then you let them go in front.  so to the loser guy who was not happy with a chick swimming faster  - eat them bubbles.
4. again to the boys - you do not speed up when someone is tapping you on your toes. it does not mean 'go faster'.  if you spent less time hanging at the end of the pool and more time swimming maybe then you would not get 'chicked'.
5. the aim of doing a lap is to swim from one end to the other.  there is no stopping for a breather in the middle.  do i need to say more ?
6. to the people in the adjacent lanes - if you are going to race me then lets make it a fair race over a distance greater than one lap or part thereof.
7. please realise that while i may not do tumble turns i do like to kick off from the wall at the end of each lap and feel like i am doing one.  the centre does have a spa or wading pool that will meet this need to just sit.  please be aware that this habit is not going to improve your swimming.  actually swimming will do that and i can attest to it.  and sitting in a spa with goggles on will look strange and slightly creepy.
8. and big, fat hairy old dudes - i am not interested nor am i desperate.  still having fucking nightmares.
9. to the couples that swim together.  why ?    
10. i am sure the pool attendants are there for a number of reasons including saving drowning people and  checking out the talent.  i have just never seen it.  and come to think of it this includes saving drowning people so that just leaves checking out the talent.  cool job.  

okay i am done. 

1 comment:

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Channel that energy! No wonder your swimming is improving.